The Misadventures of Batman and Robin: Book 1-Victims
by swordsman8
Summary: Batman and Robin go on some strange and interesting adventures!


It was a cold, hellish night. In hell. We were in Gotham city. We were on top of a giant dirt pile in front of the high school, planning to glide to the top of it. Diddykong09 was dressed up as Batman. I was dressed as Robin.

"Don't fail, you failure!" said diddykong09/Batman.

He then proceeded to try to glide to the top of the high school. Failing miserably, he piledrove his face into the side of the school and fell to the ground. I also tried to glide to the top of the school and received the same result. I fell on top of Batman.

"You asshole!" screamed Batman.

Suddenly, we heard sirens approaching.

"Oh shit! The cops!" I said.

We ran toward the tunnel under the creek that lead to the other side of the school.

"Stop, bitches! You can't get away! You! Cannot! Get! Away!" a cop said as we got away.

We ran toward the woods with the cops close behind. Suddenly, we saw Slenderman.

"Oh, God!" I said. "It has no face!"

We kept running. We heard screams behind us. Slenderman was killing the cops! Suddenly, Slenderman appeared before us, and Jason Voorhees came out from behind a tree. They began to fight, and instead of having enough sense to run away, we watched.

"Awesome!" we said as Jason Voorhees ripped off one of Slenderman's tentacles.

Finally, when Slenderman won, we ran away. Batman tripped on a branch, and I said, "You suck! You need to run!"

We finally got out of the woods. We decided to rob a gas station because we felt like it, even though Slenderman was probably chasing us.

We entered the gas station.

Batmen went up to the clerk and exclaimed, "Give me the money!"

The clerk looked at Batman like he was a baby blue velociraptor with with one eye wearing a monocle and a top hat and said, "Screw off."

I looked at Batman with a "me gusta" face, and Batman punched the clerk in the face.

"Sorry, Dayton," I said, looking down at the clerk's nametag.

I grabbed the cash register, and we went outside. I threw the register onto the ground, and it popped open. There were $7 inside!

"Yes!" we said.

Suddenly, the world filled with mist. The ground decayed, and we saw a new road. All of a sudden, a zombified nurse ran toward us, swinging her knife wildly.

"She's hot!" Batman said, punching her in the face. As he took her knife, he whispered into her ear, "I'll be back for you. Not even those bandages can keep Batman away."

We realized we were in silent hill because of the giant billboard that said, "Welcome to Silent Hill!"

"Have you ever played this game, Robin?" inquired Batman.

"No." I said.

"This place is basically the biggest hellhole in America."

"Other than Gotham?"

"Yeah."

While Batman acted very unlike Batman by stabbing nurses in the face, I played hopscotch with the other nurses as they tried to cut me.

When all the nurses were dead, we began to run. Eventually, we arrived at a warehouse. We stepped inside and saw our worst nightmare. The faces of the internet were everywhere! There was y u no, me gusta, challenge accepted, forever alone, epic face, and many more. They were all humping the wall.

"Wall rape!" we screamed.

The faces looked at us and became enraged. They ran toward us. We sprinted out of the warehouse. All of the faces followed us. Eventually, we arrived at a giant pit. We had outrun all but the y u no face and the epic face. We saw spears near the pit and picked them up. We pointed them at the faces, who were in front of the pit. They backed away fearfully.

"You threaten our sanity, our good memories, any chance we'll ever have at sex!" I yelled.

"This is madness!" the faces yelled.

"Madness?" Batman inquired.

"This—is—Silent Hill!" we both bellowed, each of us kicking one face into the pit.

After that, we continued to run, and Batman kept killing nurses. At one point, his knife broke, so he had to take another knife off a dead nurse. Eventually, a whole horde of nurses attacked us. Batman battled them while I danced a merry Irish jig. Some leprechauns joined me, and we danced together.

After the nurses were dead and the leprechauns left, the mist came back. It surrounded everything, then began to disappear. When it was gone, we were back in our world.

"That sucked," Batman said.

Being the idiots we were, we ran back into the woods. Slenderman came after us again, so we ran as quickly as we could. Soon, we came across the werewolf from Survivers (A sort of co-op version of Slender. And no, I did not make a spelling error. That's how survivors is spelled in the game.) Batman went into a psychotic rage and stabbed it repeatedly in the face. Once it died, he used the knife to strip off its pelt. We ran out of the woods, and we went to a pawn shop on the street (Don't ask why this whole city is on one street. It's not important.) We sold the pelt for $10,000,000.

"Yes!" I said as we walked toward the exit. "Now we have $10,000,000 and that $7 we stole!"

Unfortunately, once we exited the store, the police were waiting for us. I guess they were on the lookout for two people dressed like Batman and Robin.

They took us to jail. Batman was supposed to have 6 more months than me (I was getting 3 years and 6 months, and he was getting 4 years) since he was being charged with assault and I wasn't, but I demanded that we have equal sentences. So we both got 4 years. A month before our prison sentences ended, we learned Batman's daughter was getting married.

A month later, when we were outside the jail after having exited, Batman and I were having a conversation.

"Hey! Why don't we get Slenderman's suit for the wedding! Then, we won't have to buy two suits!"

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
